Celebrity adverts

Ad companies are well known for liking to indulge themselves at the expense of their clients, so the ad agency for Norwich Union must have been clearing off the mantelpiece for the award before they even got the OK to make their latest TV ad.

Norwich Union is changing its name, and so to 'celebrate', they have hired not one, not two, but FIVE top stars who've done the same to tell us about the fact. So we see Ringo Starr, Alice Copper, Dame Edna Everage AND Elle Macpherson talking about how they changed their name before becoming famous.

But the best 'sleb of all is Bruce 'Bruno' Willis, who appears as his modern bearded self as a passenger next to his character John McClane driving a cab across Central Park in the famous scene from 'Die Hard: With a Vengeance'. Not only is he digitally inserted into the taxi (ker-ching), the ad company must have also bought the rights to use the scene from 20th Century Fox (ker-ching), but also obviously pay Bruce to appear as well.

It's all potentially memorable, if only by NU's cash-strapped customers watching agog as their premium for next year is splashed up their living room wall.

And advertising agencies all seem to be strip-mining the same easy seam lately, realising that chucking some money at a famous face is easier that coming up with an original concept.

So we've got Samuel L Jackson flogging Virgin Broadband (again, after Uma Thurman also did it), and, umm, weatherbint Sian Williams, Rolf Harris and Roy Walker facing up against an imaginary animated nodding dog for Churchill Insurance. But the worst has got to be Iggy Pop - yes, Iggy Pop - flailing around and talking about 'accessing his documents online' or something for Swift Insurance. What a twunt.

It used to be the Hollywood A-list stars only did ads in Japan, like Michael J Fox flogging instant noodles or Tina Turner chugging peach tea where they thought no-one could see them, but now it seems someone opened the floodgates and forgot to close the damn things again.

Mr Nice movie

It's been a while since I posted my last blog entry, but now I'm back from travels and it's a new year and all that, here goes.

I got an email over the weekend from the Bristol Old Vic, about filming a scene for a movie if the life story of pot smuggler-turned-MI5 informant Howard Marks.

So I dived online and bagged a couple of free tickets, and on Tuesday night we drove down to Bristol, signed away our image rights and took our places in the Upper Circle without really knowing what was going to happen.

After a while, a techie wandered out to threaten to throw us out if we used cameras or mobiles, and then Howard Marks himself shuffled on stage in front of the mic, a sort of cross between James May, Worzel Gummidge and The Dude from the Big Lebowski.

It's clear the man loves a good smoke. A bit unsteady, he read a funny story on 'How to Smuggle Drugs Into Bristol International Airport' - the main tip: fill your suitcase with lion shit to put off the sniffer dogs!

After a while, Howard went off (for a smoke, obviously) and left an empty stage apart from the red curtain and a small table with two pints of beer, a glass of wine and a large ashtray.

But then, the curtain rose up to reveal a camera track towards the stage, a bunch of crew and the actor playing Howard in the film, fellow Welshman Rhys Ifans (off of Twin Town and Notting Hill fame), dressed in a white 80's jacket, jeans and white trainers.

He came on, delivered a few lines exactly the the style of Howard, pulled out a huge spliff and lit it, and we all cheered. He then stopped, paused, and then did it all over again. Then he did it again, and we all cheered again. And again.

Filming all sown up, Howard came back and was joined by Rhys for a Q&A session. People in the audience asked a load of questions, mainly to Howard and mainly about drugs (best, first, worst etc.).

But we did find out the film is due out in about 12 months, that it'll star Chloe Sevigny as his wife and David Thewliss (off of 'Harry Potter'), and that Cardiff will double in scenes for all of Wales, Oxford and the rest of Britain, while Spain will double for, umm, Spain, Afghanistan and the US.

Looking forward to seeing it, and of course to seeing if I'll be in it!

Flopp

No sign of a revival of Fopp then, the independent record chain, with the news that megagiant HMV has bought the name and a few of the most profitable stores.

Don't know how it thinks it can do any better, given that HMV itself is in trouble. We'll see. But i have noticed that HMV has become a bit more competitive on price lately - I got a 10 disc Hitchcock box set in there for £25.

Starbucks in Africa

Starbucks is planning to buy more coffee from East Africa and set up a Farmers Support Centre.

Nothing of course to do with their ongoing battle with Ethiopa which is trying to trademark the names of several of their varieties to protect its income. And that's going to be one hell of a support centre to serve all of East Africa!

Immigrunts

How many immigrants are there in the UK? The results of a MORI poll out today shows the number depends on what you read.

Express newspaper readers think that 21% of the UK population is immigrants, while Daily Mail readers think it's 19%. Guardian readers think the figure is 11%.

The actual figure is 7%.

The poll was part of a joint committee into human rights at the Houses of Parliament. The press watchdog also wrote to 14 national newspaper editors advising them against using the phrase "illegal assylum seekers". Meanwhile, The Sun ran a false story about asylum seekers cooking and eating swans before retracting it.

Out of interest, I've just searched for the phrase "illegal asylum seeker" on the Daily Mail's own site, and they have used in 8 times in articles. It has also used the word 'immigrant' 2154 times. By contrast, the word climate appears 574 times.

Time at the bar

Apparently, the change in Britain's licensing laws this time hasn't altered people's drinking habits!

Pubs, clubs and shops were all allowed to apply for licence to stay open even later than 11pm. As it turns out over a third of those that did were supermarkets such as Tesco and Sainbury's, with most pubc deciding it wasn't worth the extra cost and hassle of applying, and employing extra staff as well.

So the lesson is: 12 months isn't long enough to change 60 years of wartime-at-the-bar-ding-ding-quick-get-another-one-in-haven't-you-lot-got-homes-to-go-to drinking culture! I need a drink.

Death of the Chinese tea house

Fascinating series of photos on BBC Online today, on traditional Chinese tea houses struggling to survive. Pictures and words by Matthew Pistono.